Blog Entry
Friday, September 30, 2005
God can
I wanted to blog so desperately yesterday but was too tired to even tap an alphabet. Well, yesterday was definitely well spent. My mum kept thinking of ways to discourage me from going, such as reminding me that 'Hey, it's going to rain, stay at home', 'If you are tired, then don't go out' and 'People do change over the years'. From the start, I knew that she was extremely against me going but I couldn't care less. I knew she meant well because she has been through those young adult years. On a lighter note, Jonathan and I met up for lunch yesterday in which we discussed certain issues. Following, I went back home to watch a show which I've always been watching- Indecent proposal. To put it simply, the storyline is about lustful desires of the human nature. Both the actor and actress were married to each other. They were attracted to each other out of pure infatuation, not love I guessed. Sex was the thing that brought them together most of the time as a couple. Their love code towards each other was:-
Person A: Have I ever told you I love you?
Person B: No
Person A: I do
Person B: Still
Person A: Always
Don't you think the love code is beautiful? I could see that they were pretty much in love till things started to set in. Arguements boils up within them and they were mad with each other for no valid reasons. In addition, when the couple learnt that they did not have enough money to pay for their house, they did not know what to do. While they were in a casino, a rich guy was attracted to this actress. This rich guy actually set a deal for them. He would offer $1 million to them if the actor could allow this rich guy to be with his wife for 1 night. He was reluctant at first, but gave in to this lustful desire in the end. Now then, why would I even watch this show? This show has constantly reminded me to do what is right in the eyes of God, and never to be a stumbling block to people around.
Went to jog around my vincinity. After eating alot these few weeks, I decided to lose those calories by exercising. I saw something disgusting. I actually saw a couple performing Aural sex in the park. Gosh, it got the hell out of me...Can't stand the sight at all!
Following, I went to Tampines Mall to meet Zhen Yuan and Chandhan. Both were my secondary school friends. They can be real wacky at times. I enjoyed their company. We were all along talking craps, lots and lots of craps...haha, hairy monster and monkey. Went to watch the Dukes of the hazzards. I kind of like the show as there were lots of funny scenes. Haha, got a good laugh. However, as I was sitted quite front, I felt like vommiting the minute the car racing started.
I'm thankful and grateful for:-
* Knowing God
* My loving parents
* My siblings
* My friends
* Having a wonderful holiday now
* A caring mentor
* Church
* Good sleep nowadays
* Happy times that have always reminded me about God's goodness and mercy in my life
* Sad moments that have always drawn me back to God; to hear his voice; not to think so highly of myself; to know that God is still faithful in the midst of the storms
* Her calling, and explaining to me
* Good health
* A course that I enjoy studying
God Can
When you can't move the mountains
Thats Standing in your way
God can
And if you can't turn your darkness
Into the light of the day
God can
When you can't find the answers
To all your doubts and fears
God can
When you are needing someone
To wipe away your tears
God can
Chorus:
God can do more
Than you could ask or think
He holds all power in His mighty hand
When You can't see your way
Just remember this my friend
God can God can
When you can't change your past
Or heal your broken heart
God can
When you can't find the courage
To make a brand new start
God can
When you are at your weakest
He'll fill you with His strength
It's not by might but by His spirit
That we do all things
Yes you can face your future
When your hope is in His hands
I have a God who can do anything
I have a God who is still the King of kings
I have a God who is able to do
Above and beyond what you could ask Him to
posted by The voice within @
6:15 PM
1 comments
Wednesday, September 28, 2005
It is well
Things happen for a reason. Sometimes, when things are smooth going, we don't even give a damm. However, when circumstances do not meet our wants, we get irritated by even the slightest things in life. Perhaps, we ought to look at life differently. Was flipping through the newspaper when I came across this interview section in which the press interviewed the boss of 77th Street. Words that were said from her heart was very encouraging. She said that 'we go through challenges whether we are Christians or not, except that as Christians, we know that whatever challenges we face, we have God behind us. This is our untimate purpose.' In addition, she pointed out that the secret hehind success is great determination and yes, PRAYER. Hey, I'm still growing in the process.
Woke up at 6:15am today. I was all energised for work today. Well, the last day of work was definitely well spent. Reached work today at 8am to do stock- taking. I really love monotonous stuff. Others may think its boring, but not for me. No matter how boring, I will still enjoy it. I started the day by counting more than a thousand cards, followed by lots and lots of soft toys. Then, I did some house- keeping. I had a chance to talk to the boss too. He's just too young to be a boss. In addition, he speaks super good English and he has this boyish cum cute look...Should be a model instead. He looks 99% like christopher Lee! Left for home after work cos I was having a really bad headache.
Decided to change my template cos the previous one was simply too plain or perhaps to be exact, ugly. Now, the black template has been chosen as I'm a black person. Love black colour to the maximum. Black symbolises GLAMOROUS. Black symbolises STYLE and what not.
I'm glad God answered my prayers regarding certain issues and He's starting to heal as I begin to release them into His hands.
posted by The voice within @
7:01 AM
2 comments
Saturday, September 24, 2005
Live it to the fullest
Its been closed to 6 months since yenru and I met up with Qin. Heez, I'm glad that this friendship has always been strong over the years. Good friends are really hard to come by. It's amazing to see how we can click so well and catch up from where we had left from. We took lots of silly photos- photos with different poses. We headed to Kenny Rogers' to have our dinner. I've always been looking forward to dine in at Kenny Rogers' as the last time I ever step in to eat was the last day of my work there. I love the food...I love the people. You can simply eat up all the left over foods after closing. Those marcoroni cheese, mashed potatoes, garden pasta, muffins, pork ribs and loads of chickens. Those were the days! =) Andy! I did not expect that Kim Wah actually charged us $2.20 per person instead of the usual $10.80. So thankful, yet so pai seh. See, its good to work at different places, so that wherever you go, there will be discounts...wahaha. Following, we went shopping and I bought myself a pair of earrings. I really ate alot today and I really mean alot. I had zhui kway and chicken rice for breakfast, burger king for lunch, kenny rogers' for dinner, and burger king again for supper. Tomorrow, sizzler...I better start drawing up an exercise regime. At the same time, today was the day where we celebrated yenru's birthday. Glad she likes the present from precious thots. Met katherine and Xiuling today too at precious thots. When will I ever work with them again?
Funny things or perhaps, to be exact, weird stuff always happen to me. Oh well, I'm always the chosen one. We were on our way back from harbourfront mrt when our two guy friends entered the train. In a split second, the train door closed, leaving sharon and I outside the train. I told sharon to quickly board the other train so that we can catch up with them at outrum mrt station. I rushed into the train and the door closed, leaving Sharon at the mrt platform again. I looked around and I noticed that there was not a single soul in the train except me. Gosh, I felt afraid. I tried calling Sharon but there was no reception. Then suddenly, a mrt staff came to me and told me that I've boarded the wrong train and that the train that I was in was actually under repair. I told him that no matter what, I wanted the train to be back at harbourfront. He asked me to sit down and relax but I just could not. Can you imagine yourself sitting alone in the mrt train? Well, thank God that I managed to return back to the mrt station instead of some repair tunnels. At the same time, I thanked the Lord that at least there was a mrt staff with me, knowing the fact that northeast line does not require any driver as it is run by machines.
posted by The voice within @
9:57 AM
1 comments
Friday, September 23, 2005
Once again
I have been feeling rather down this few days. Somehow, i felt that there's no purpose in life. Never in my life have I had this feeling. I just got to blame it on hormonal changes. I woke up early yesterday to meet my major project's supervisor and evaluator for project interview. Thoughout the interview, I was just talking crap la. I did flipped through my notes on the way to school, hoping that I could secure a pass for my interview. But the interviewer just simply bombarded us with questions like 'how do you know you can ensure that 60% of the therapeutic patients will benefit from the nutrient analysis and information?' I was really stunned. Major project is not a module that is that easy to pass........oh well........
Yesterday, results were out. It was not as scary as compared to previous semesters as the sms only showed the results of 2 modules instead of other semesters, where there were 6-8 modules. I got myself a B for Food Safety and a Pass for Student Internship project. Indeed, I was very satisfied, but on the other hand, who would want to have just a B? Nonetheless, I thanked God for seeing me through this semester. It was a semester of moulding and shaping especially during my attachment days. The job was doable and I actually enjoyed. However, the thing that pissed me off was the people. Them minority of them treated me like a maid. They threw rubbish on the floor and ask me to clear. I was tasked to guard doors at times (Hello, am I a dog? Even dogs have better life) When my superior passed me a squashed piece of paper, I'm supposed to throw it away without him saying. Floors were swept and mopped on alternate days. There were much more. At times, I would just rush to the toilet to cry, to let it all out. I felt humiliated and ill- treated. But through it all, as I looked back, I noticed that in every step of the way, God has been there. I always wondered even up till today, how did I ever survive such a job? The answer is simple. It is by God's grace, mercy and His all- surpassing love for me. All ended well, and I'm glad.
Oh, this entry is going to be lengthy cos I have not pen down my thoughts for quite sometime. Went with Sharon, Qifeng and his cousin to Sentosa to sun tann yesterday too. The weather was super duper HOT. We had a great time under the sun. And the new toilet at Siloso is cool. Check it out. =)
Cell group at Uncle Henry and Aunty Carol's house was good. It was the first time that we had a combine cell group. It's great to see the YA coming together to praise our God, to dwell in one another's fellowship, to pray for one another, to encourage and to grow strongly in the Lord. I was touched by all of the worship songs that were sung. Some of the phrases that I felt God was speaking to me was 'Comfort, heal, restore with love'; 'Breathe on me, breath of God'; 'I lay it all down again, to hear you say that I'm your friend'; 'Help me find the way to bring me back to you'; 'To behold the beauty, the beauty of the Lord'; 'I'm in that place once again'; 'Thank you for the cross my friend'. It is always times like this, that will bring me back to God and to hear Him speak again. Following, we had a group session where we were supposed to relate a colour to 5 person, and also to state the strength of each person. For our group, we also stated our individual weakness, so that we could be humble and not to be egoistic. Amy describes me silver- quiet, wild at times, have a sense of self- control, knows what I'm doing. Jiawei said my colour was green- caring. Aunty Carol also said that I'm a 'green' person...can't remember her reason, oh ya, she said I was gentle...wahaha. Johnathan said that I'm realistic. Jacob said that I'm friendly (Haha, I can be dao if I want too k). Its so interesting to just state the good of people, to build one another up with words of loving kindness rather than to tear people down. That's the challenge!
posted by The voice within @
8:05 PM
0 comments
Monday, September 12, 2005
Behind every mask lies the truth
I've learnt the hard way out...I hoped so. I've always believe in this statement ' behind every mask lies the truth'. Don't ask me why...perhaps we are all human, all of us make mistakes. Insensitivity is not the issue here because every individual has a sense of intuition. I've bottled this thing within me for a long time, close to 2 years...don't tell me its all part of growing up! I've talked about it, I've lamented about it, the misunderstanding was cleared. But well, what do I get in return? Is it all worth it? Now i truely agreed what my close friend said. It would be good to erase some of the unhappy memories in our life so that we can continue to be happy. Yes, I'm glad with the way I am now, every minute of it all, but some how, flashes of the past just comes and blows ones mind, ones emotion; ones hope and ones destiny. Perhaps I'm beginning to think more comprehensively nowadays. Nothing has trigger this thought though.
Went with Jean to try out the food that is still on promotion in Marche. The foods were delicious. Had a chance to taste goose liver...ha...so daring of me. Well, following, we chilled out at Balaclava. I love that place and would wish to go again on Friday. Cell group or pubbing on Friday? I better decide fast.
I'm all so excited to meet Yenru tomorrow. It's been quite some time since we last met up. Can't wait for more shopping before major project starts. I'm already feeling the stress. I love school, I love lectures but I HATE quizzes, tests and exams. This semester's results will be out next Friday, in which I will get to know my Food Safety and Attachment grades. I hope that my grades will be satisfying. Have not gotten an A...will I get it this time round? *Sniff*
It's the PRAYER that changes things=)
posted by The voice within @
5:36 AM
1 comments
Wednesday, September 07, 2005
Just as I am
I loved sunday's message...i was actually praying for quite some time that there will be a healing session cos I really need it. For those who knew what happened, ya, I felt the presence of God the minute the speaker prayed for me. It was truely an amazing moment alone with God. I felt so loved, so lifted up, healed. I hope that my struggle can come to an end soon.
At the same time, I enjoyed the sun tanning session at sentosa with my buddies. The weather was too good...it was extremely sunny=) Somehow we attracted the wrong person. People attract guys while we attract 'ji ko pek'. There's this idiotic guy who kept standing behind the tree to look at us. I just felt like gorging out his eyes and start scolding vulgarities. Tried Kilkenny on that day too. Thought it may taste nice but well, it was not what I expected.
A few days back, I met up with shuyi for dinner. Following, we talked bout lots of stuff. Haiz, should have recorded down the entire conversation . Its definitely one of the most interesting conversation I ever had.
Some people just have too much ego. They think so and so like them but its not even true.
Look at the lyrics of the song (meaningful one indeed. Learnt it during the thailand mission trip).
I'm caught again, your faithless friend
do you ever tire of hearing
What a fool I've been
guess I should pray what can I say
Oh, it hurts to know the hundred times I've caused you pain
Forgive me sounds so empty
when I never change
Yet you stay and say you love me still forgiving me time and time again
Chorus:
It's your stubborn love
that never lets go of me
I don't understand how you can stay
Perfect love, embracing the worst in me
How I long for your stubborn love
Funny me, just couldn't see, even long before I knew you, you were loving me
Sometimes I cry, you must cry too,
when you see the broken promises
I made to you, I keep saying that I'll trust you, though I seldom do,
yet you stay and say you love me
still knowing someday I'll be like you
(Chorus)
It's your stubborn love that never lets go of me
I don't understand how you stay
Perfect love, embracing the worst in me
and you'll never let me go
I believe I finally know,
I can't live without, your stubborn love.
I'm enjoying my holidays now. How I wish it would never end. At the same time, I'm getting a little busy cos major project has just started. Lots and lots of research to be done. We need at least 120 hours on our project before we can obtain a pass. Hey, it's really a challenge...I hope that our group can get the highest marks cos the top prize is $2000. Avril is really too clever...I want his brains. Can you imagine him getting $2000 and is all for himself?=)
Oh yeah, and Ruth, I miss you so much. Although I 'll still get to see you every other sundays, I felt so distant from you...Heez! Take care my friend=) We can always meet up to do our hairs in future again.
posted by The voice within @
7:17 AM
4 comments